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I've had a pretty overwhelming week/past weekend. I normally don't take this blog to go into deep but I thought why not share my feelings with my readers just show that I'm for real and well writing helps me express more than person. So this past weekend I had found out my godfather that lives not too far from me, four hour drive to be exact had passed away. I didn't know how to react with the news when I found out last Friday afternoon but it did hit me a little later on through the night when I was getting ready to go out with my friends. I never really experienced someone close to pass away, I mean I have heard about family members passing away or but they were like connected in some other way of past third cousin or something like that. But someone close in my circle, in my whole unity of what I do consider family had never happened before, till Friday.

Never say never is the first thing I thought in my head just because now shit has really hit the fan and older I get the more I realize I'm not a little girl anymore. The way I take things, say things, do things isn't what the same Stephyy would do two years ago. I don't know exactly how to explain it but I feel more awake every day as days go by and I don't know how to take it but I seem pretty normal in person but in my mind its a big mush and so blurry. I tried taking things out of my life that don't work out for me because I'm older, I've taken out people that had no point to me except keep me on halt in my life. Now you might be thinking what does this have to do with my godfather passing away? Well the fact that it didn't hit me so hard like others, the fact that I pretend to not see things in a normal view but one thing I do beat myself up for is, he lived so close yet so far and I saw my family across the U.S. and I couldn't make that tiny four hour drive to at least say hi.

The last time I saw my godparents was back in 2007 or 2006? Not quite sure exact but we had dinner with my boyfriend at the time. They wanted to be the judges like actual parents about my boyfriend and I found it hilarious how they were with him. They enjoyed him especially my godfather. Like my father, he did the usual routine of questions trying to make my ex feel uncomfortable but my ex was a pro and he loved him.  And I remember the last thing was "If I liked him, your dad will too." Couple years later, he was right my dad did like my ex also and it shocked me how he was right on point. Then we lost contact because for some reason at that age of innocence and age that you  don't know how to balance anything in life but your life revolved on "boyfriend" we tend to forget who family are and meant to be in your life no matter what.

This week my whole family from my fathers side is coming down to O-town to pay respects to my godfather and with my parents being divorce it kind of shook me that my mother agreed to come with me this weekend for the funeral. Weird how someone's passing can make people that have lost contact that seem indefinite for sometime to make them come together.

For those of you who have been through passing of someone close to you, please feel free could be anonymous too let me know how you take this and learn from it or move on from it? I would love to get peoples experience and aspect of it all since we are full of different views.

Starting to feel like Christmas

Its been chilly here in South Florida and I am so loving every moment of it. By now you guys should know how much I love the cold and for those who don't well I love the cold! Haha its obvious to say that I am much happier person during Winter time than any other time of the year...well maybe Spring. Can't believe Christmas is almost here! It's coming with a quickness and I must say it still catches me by shock that 2010 is almost to its end. I'm not sure why but Christmas this year doesn't have me jumping up and down, not wishing for anything to crazy as presents every thing I've been wanting I've been getting all I want St. Nicholas to bring me is tickets to NY and happiness. Pretty much it.
In other news I still have to post up the things I bought myself couple weeks before Black Friday! This December is going to be focused on my upcoming project with couple girlfriends of mine I can't reveal too much I don't want to jinx it! Hehe, but I will say this keep in tune for what's coming! ;)

Well kiddies, that's pretty much it for my blog for tonight just trying to show I am alive and have not left my site hanging I will be posting up daily again real soon (after this dread of school is over of course)

Good night!

When is the MADNESS OVER?

School. This quarter just sucks. Seriously. So disappointed right now but I must finish with whatever I got. Right? UGH! Oh and a major fail on a photo shoot I'm in tomorrow about world causes and all I wanted to do oil spill...but wardrobe malfunction now I have to think of something before eight AM today!

I hope everyone has a nice Monday...

Pause...Recap

I feel like I've grown so much as a person in the past two years of a single life I've been living and I've had my ups and downs but honestly I can't think one moment I regret because I mean come on now I'm just entering an age where you're in between young adult and actual adult everything is bound to get dirty at times but sometimes I can't help to fall back to the girl I use to be and the one I am now.

This post is extremely random but hey I know people out there that can agree with me on this...time has gone by QUICK, there's not a time in day where we can stop and realize what we have now and what we had gone through to be at the position we stand here today. I love who I am today and best believe I'm excited on what I'm going to become and guess what...you guys should too! Next year is going to be a year of ambition! Woo! So take time and stand still and let the earth just move and think about it. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.

:) Happy Sunday kiddies! <3

"I'll be gone till November"

Happy November!
So excited for this month just because of FOOD! Yes I am aware I am a fatty but IDGAF! And not only that its fall and its starting to kick in here in Miami another plus, oh and holidays are coming up too! This month seems like its starting to be a little more light to my crazy financial stand but I don't want to jinx that. Anyways, this morning I woke up to a sneak peak to Zara's November Lookbook, must say I love fall fashion (woot).
still currently waiting for more but this is what's up so far.



Zara Facebook

This month I have to do a major clean up to my closet (and its part of my Styling class project, oh the joy). Want to make room for new items! I am dying for a trench coat for my visit to New York and San Fran in January (FINALLY). Also want to get rid of the old anyways, start my New Years cleaned off hehe.


My other hopes for this month is getting a new phone...yes I know I change phones like regularly it seems like haha! If only people know what I do with phones, I'm a clumsy girl I can't help it.

Hope everyone has an awesome November!!

Running in Boots...

My outfit for the dayy (its raining so yes the boots were a must)

Simple Chic by stephyymel featuring heart jewelry

Have a nice day!

Blueprint of MY Career/Education

Lately I have been thinking what am I going to do after I get my Bachelors...even though that's like two years from now I always go WAY ahead of myself. I thought why not go for a Masters. It's not so clear what to Master in yet but I know next year I do plan to work on a Minor in Journalism, and if all goes well I hope to continue on. I'm probably the only one in my family to go so far when it comes to education and I'm glad but that's besides the point. I have a plan see, (muahahaha) and that plan has had me with multiple tabs on my laptop from living arrangements to move out of Florida to schools for graduate students. My mind is basically everywhere!

For those who have been following me, I am obsessed with New York and duh fashion student here and a total cliche of me to say that lol but its true. Those of you getting to know me, well yea what I just wrote. I went to New York this year for the first time and searched for internships and was a success got a few numbers and info about places such as Elle Magazines and couple PR firms. I do want to be in the magazine or media side of fashion that's a fact so I have been contacting other places in NY for opportunities similar to that. Today I realized NYU has a Masters in Publishing and I don't know why but my heart jumped and thought.."publishing..." I don't know what me saying "publishing" to myself meant but definitely began to rape Google about more information.

Wonder where I'll REALLY end up...

1st of the Month

October baby! And this month seems like it's starting off in a good start (I mean this in weather wise haha). I usually plan what's good for the month and have expectations but this month is different, I don't want to know what happens (unlike September; so much fail) The only thing I know about this month is all the events happening!

First coming is a trip to Halloween Horror Nights in Orlando! I have to start by saying that I am a huge chicken shit and first time I went...well to summarize it I spent it at the gift shop...yea pretty bad. So four years later my friends have convinced me to fix that up so I said fine. I am stuck on going now and I'm actually excited (and scared for my life)

After that its couple of Halloween parties but the main one that I keep my eyes on is to see Swedish House Mafia!


Huge event happening here in Miami and I must say I feel like its a repeat of Ultra Music Festival all over again!

And lastly Halloween! My favorite holiday! Its going to be so much fun even if I end up around my block to trick o' treat. I still have yet to decided what to be for Halloween, so many ideas has come up to my head but nothing really catches my attention I just know I want a wig haha.



This month will be fun, and other than all this fun stuff got to FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS on me and my life. Can never forget that.

October I ask you to surprise me.

"Chop it All Off"

This week I got myself a desperate need of a haircut, and I must say I can't wait till my whole hair has transformed! So far I have the cut down.

I plan to dye my hair dark violet and go shorter on one side to perfect my asymmetrical look, love it!

Hello September

It is the beginning of the countdown to the end of the year, this year has gone by so fast! August for some reason to me went mad slow though but other than that is FASHION SHOW MONTH WOOT! Looking forward to what's going to be good! Also its Fall month! Can't wait for this season and Winter my two fav. I have a lot of blogs in draft right now I haven't had time to catch up but I will soon enough! Other than that hope this month goes well for everyone! :)

Current Obsession...

So I have noticed that recently for the past couple months my friends had been talking about Pokemon almost everyday! They mention the memories they had and a few of us still actually has the cards. Now I have noticed we play no joke with it, I started to play with Pokemon Yellow version on my Gameboy color. (Yes the one with Pikachu followin' you^_^) Anyways I also got into an old habit that I missed when I was a child and that is Sailor Moon. I want to thank netflix for making it happen haha got me all the damn seasons I wanted! I feel like such a little girl again!

Sunday Blues

I have been moopping around for a good month. With no job and just going to school and going out, its usually what people around me want but since I've been use to working since I was 17 I always expected to have money and be busy but at the same time have fun. I mentioned couple months back when I was working for Zara that I was leaving the job to go back to my old job at Penney's for the new MNG by Mango that they are putting inside the store. I did my business went on vacation and came back to look for a back up job to make money in the mean time. Fail. Is all I have to say to that. I don't mean it in a lazy tone I mean it in I have busted my ass to send out resumes left and right through craigslist to just pretty much walking in to places. I have gotten interviews but no calls back. But time is cutting close to MNG by Mango to open in Penney's in couple of weeks all I have to wait for is my background check to go through and if my stars are aligned right WORK ALREADY! But I have been so impatient going out to clubs and bars and all sorts of fun activities isn't so fun for me anymore and I want to do is cry. (If I seem emo excuse me its the time of the week.) I don't like being home, I don't like going out without money, I'm bored ALL THE TIME. Its frustrating and I usually don't blog too much about emotional shit but damn its to the point for now this is my way of venting haha.

New week, hopefully good news or whatever news to keep me sane.

"This is what happens when..."

(You stay up all night)

I'm not a fan of blogging about relationships or dating and all. Main reason is, this shit is public I don't know who is reading all this and second reason is because that topic has yet to make sense to me. But I can't help it that I am surrounded by people in a relationship or dating or friends with benefits and basically you name it in that field I'm around it. I really do feel like Carrie Bradshaw when she realizes that everyone around has become a "couple" or a pair of "twos". Hellz even the single ones have someone to fall back on, which necessarily isn't a good thing but when your living in the moment its not so bad. I also can't say too much in this field because I don't even date that much...or not at all. My opportunities have been there though but there really isn't a guy that "sweeps" me off my feet, which I do believe strongly in because its happen to me. So a guy that doesn't scream at me is just a dirt off my shoulders and move on to the next one (hehe look at that).

But all this sounds great to me to be picky as hell and "know" what I want in a guy or relationship, actually no it doesn't sound good because reality has it at age 21 I don't know what in the world I want and once I think I figured it out something or someone changes my perspective in things.

So where do I go with this random blog post? Well I should be more open to meeting people, won't kill me (hopefully) also I should write (talk) about it more considering many people have different opinions and advices I never mind hearing or learning. People obviously have a lot more experience than I do -even the youngins do. Pretty pathetic on my part. Basically a huge note to self with this whole topic.

What to wear for interviews?

I have been getting a lot lately and every time I get a call for one, first thing I think of is "WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR?" It requires me to destroy my closet to find that one outfit. So I ask the ladies out there that can help me? What am I NOT suppose to wear? I ask "NOT" because it would help me eliminate my options haha.

xoxx

Facebook, I need a "break"...

This morning I woke up with an irritation to social networking. I had been thinking about getting rid of my facebook for a while now and just never got around to doing it. As I sat there reading my news feeds, I thought to myself (and I have tweeted this before) the facebook is our version of gossip girl. And its true. I have heard people talk about people like crazy, people are so synced with what's going on with other peoples profiles, pictures and whatever they posted as a status I just thought it was too much for me at least. I didn't think much of it until I realized without thinking I deactivated my account. That was it. I no longer was in the social networking world. I began to regret it especially the fact that I just uploaded pictures from my California trip last night that this morning its gone. For whatever reason I did it, because honestly bullshit aside, I don't know why I did it but it feels like a breather. I don't obsesses and refresh my browser on my phone anymore to see walls and statuses, I don't care for much what's going on. Its like -I kid you not, someone unplugged that annoying headphone off your ears and hear everything around you that's outside of the computer. Don't get me wrong I do see myself activating my account again, I don't know when but right now I just don't want it. If anyone needs to get a hold of me I still have a smartphone and a twitter, and of course my blogs. (snail mail is cute too haha)

But honestly how many people out there doesn't feel like just getting rid of it and want to just take a breather? (maybe it's just me but I've had convos relating to this topic and some feel the way I do.)

Let me know! No arguments just like to read other opinions.

My Movie Obsessions

So this summer I have been really eh every where, not sure I what I feel and what I've been doing. Currently still unemployed and going to school (thank god! business!) I decided to pick a habit my dad has. I signed up for Netflix. I mentioned before I'm not the biggest movie fan of life, I watch whatever movie catches my attention. I always say I want to watch a specific movie at the theaters and I fail always to watch them and then I forget them. WELL NETFLIX CAME TO THE RESCUE! I have been sitting around and watching movies, I even fall asleep to them now too.
Movies that are coming my way!:
Valentine's Day (which came today, cute movie)
The Runaways
Youth Revolt
500 days of Summer
Up in the Air
Charlie Barlett
Adventureland....and yea my list just goes on. LOL

Anyways, also I have been going to the movie theaters a lot. (RARE FOR ME TRUST ME) I have seen Despicable Me (btw the CUTEST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN) super cute and funny.

Yesterday I saw Inception which is AN AWESOME MOVIE! Must watch and pay mad attention!! Oh and for my ladies, a lot of hot guys in this film no doubt ;).


Any movies out in dvd that you guys want me to watch? I'm deprived!

Miami Bitch

A little jet lagged but I guess I'll live. My flight back home seemed like it took forever but slept most of the time. As the plane was flying over Dade County I noticed I didn't recognize the city I live in! I was already in a bitch mood, second I step out of the airport the worst weather hit me in the face mad humid and sticky. Ew. Didn't have the greatest trip driving back home. I'm not sure if I'm over it or I really don't belong in this city, but anyways stop wahing about this city because unfortunately I live here not much I can do until I graduate. (God please make that come fast!)

Ok enough of the personal ish on this blog! LOL

"One More Time Before I Go"

I was a little bummed out today, woke up a little sad that I had to leave my home town to go back to reality. But a part of me was kind of getting ready to go back to reality and picking up the regular pace back in the 305. I enjoyed my trip here and I missed it dearly! Shame I need to come out here more often. I'm so glad my dad loved his present for father's day (me duh!) Hopefully he can make it out to Miami later on! Now that I have completed this vacation get away and journey. I already have my mind set on New York this September LOL. Yea you can say I think WAY ahead.

Farewell Bay Area love you lots but its time to leave!

Day 4, 5 and Whatever Lost Track

My adventure here in the west coast is almost at its end. I had an awesome time here, the best time I actually needed away from home. I'm a little sad that I have to leave don't feel ready to leave yet. Here are some more pics I had been lacking on.
Day 4 I went hiking and got my nature and workout going on.










Later on the day we went to go see the Golden Gate bridge


Then we drove around my old hood and stopped at my favorite spot to see the sunset



Day 5 was all about the city





I think Day whatever I have yet to upload.

:) xxxoox